20 Ways to Be Happier

Does happiness seem like a feeling you chase after but never quite reach? The good news is this: happiness is always available to us, though it’s often buried beneath layers of thoughts and emotions. Want to learn to reconnect with a happy state of mind? Experts offer 20 simple ways to tap into happiness.

1. Find Your Focus

To start yourself on the road to happiness, says Marcy Sizemore, the founder and principal coach with Olive Orchard Coaching & Consulting in Thomasville, Georgia, take stock of where you are and where you’d like to be. Then, “work on creating forward motion through real, specific, tangible goals,” she says. Consider making a list of things that will make you happy, from keeping your house tidier to spending more time with friends and family to volunteering with a local organization. Sizemore suggests setting small goals as checkpoints on the way to achieving the larger one. The path, she says, likely won’t be a straight line. “Expect to zig and zag,” she says, but in the long-term, focus can help you “move forward in a way aligned with your values.”

2. Go for Gratitude

That’s what Lee Collier, founder of the Joy Squad, a Tallahassee-based nonprofit organization with the goal of spreading joy, did when she and many of her friends were feeling down during the depths of the COVID-19 pandemic. “Happiness is a choice,” says Collier. “You can elect to be doom and gloom, or you can make the internal choice to count your blessings.” Dedicate a few minutes each day to making simple journal entries of the things you’re thankful for. If writing isn’t your jam, try using a mala—a string of 108 beads from the Buddhist and Hindu traditions—to name one thing you’re thankful for as your fingers move across each bead. While 108 may seem like a big number, remember to notice and appreciate the small things (the breeze through the trees, the food that nourishes you, the ground beneath your feet), and you’ll find your list expands in proportion to your gratefulness.

3. Share the Moment

“Step one [of finding happiness] is to get out and get into a social setting,” says Dr. Svenja Wolf, an assistant professor of sports psychology at Florida State University who oversees the school’s Laboratory for Emotions in Groups and Organizations (LEGO). Wolf believes that cultural events are a great starting point. Listening to music at home, for example, might feel like an uplifting activity, but by attending a concert, “your feelings are validated by others who feel the same way,” she says. “Groups have properties that can magnify your emotional state.” So, give pickleball, a knitting circle, or a live theater performance a try. 

4. Engage Your Senses 

“There’s some really cool research on nostalgia as an emotion,” Wolf says. “It’s proven to be powerful to combat feelings of loneliness and increase the pleasant effects by remembering good times.” Wolf suggests making an effort to be fully present in happy experiences—taking in the sights, sounds, scents, and feelings—so that you can re-create the scene at a future moment and relive the uplifting moment. “It’s a great idea because you are going to enjoy the first experience, but then you’ll get to relive it,” she adds. “It’s almost like getting two birds with one stone.”

5. Own Your Om

Thanks to new research into neuroplasticity, we now know that one’s happiness set point (the level of happiness that we naturally feel) can be altered. Meditation thickens the areas of the brain that help us to process uncomfortable situations, as well as shrinks the amygdala, the part of the brain that’s activated under stress. Meditating for as little as two minutes a day leads to a calmer mind, improved cognition, and better self-awareness. Try an in-person meditation class at a local studio, or download guided meditation apps like Headspace and Calm. If you’re a person who likes tech feedback, check out the Hyperice Core, a meditation gadget that uses vibrations to center your attention. Core’s biosensors also give you real-time feedback by measuring your heart rate variability, which is your leading indicator of wellness.

6. Move Your Body 

A Harvard University study reveals that 30 minutes of moderate aerobic exercise five days a week releases mood-boosting hormones that can reduce stress and make you feel happier. If traditional cardio isn’t your thing, don’t despair. Researchers at the University of Derby found that depressed patients who took salsa lessons reported improved moods; a similar Australian study found that people who tangoed for 20 minutes felt happier and had lower levels of stress hormones than people who sat on the sidelines. 

7. Have a Laugh

Making yourself smile (even when you might not feel like it) has a mood-boosting effect. The muscles used to turn a frown upside down actually send signals to your brain that you’re happy, which can spur the body to release hormones like dopamine and serotonin. This phenomenon, known as the facial feedback hypothesis, doesn’t mean you have to plaster a fake smile on your face. But the next time you’re feeling low, try cracking a smile and see what happens. Laughter produces similar results, so watch a funny YouTube video, listen to a humor podcast, or stream a comedy special the next time you need a mood lift. 

Photo courtesy Hugsleep, hugsleep.com

8. Hug It Out 

A research study published in the Journal of Nonverbal Behavior found that people who were consistently hugged over a two-week period reported being in a better overall mood. Not only does hugging reduce stress levels and unleash feel-good hormones like oxytocin, but it also makes people feel less lonely, which increases their sense of well-being. Based on research in what’s known as deep touch pressure therapy, a product like HugSleep’s Sleep Pod offers cocooning, hug-life comfort that stimulates the brain in the same way a traditional hug does. 

9. Let It Go 

According to the Mayo Clinic, holding onto grudges increases anger and bitterness, making it difficult to enjoy the present moment. Letting go of a grudge is not the same experience as forgiveness—in which you replace a negative judgment of a person or situation with a positive feeling. Instead, moving on from a grudge might conjure indifference instead of positivity; you don’t need to feel warm and fuzzy toward a person who wronged you to avoid letting negative feelings control your life. Take time to consider the perspective of the person who wronged you, and you’ll have a better understanding of what might have contributed to the situation at hand.

10. Be Kind to Others

Research shows that acts of kindness can have a significant impact on mental health, reducing symptoms of depression and anxiety and increasing feelings of well-being. Consider small acts of kindness that can be done on a regular basis. This might include volunteering in the community, offering a listening ear to a friend in need, or simply taking a few moments to tell the people in your life how much they mean to you.

11. Build Your Tribe

“Seeing your feelings validated in others makes you feel good, no matter what,” Wolf says. “The reflection can be a really positive thing because it creates a sense of oneness, and there is an innate need for affiliation.” Whether it’s joining a book club or a running club, being part of something helps you feel less alone and surrounded by people who share your interests. “Engaging in a shared experience can form a sense of togetherness,” she adds. Companionship doesn’t have to be limited to other humans. Pets can offer similar benefits, according to multiple studies.

12. Create a Judgment-Free Zone 

In the Buddhist tradition, our attachments are the cause of suffering because all things can change—or disappear—in an instant. One way to practice non-attachment is to get rid of the idea that certain people, thoughts, etc. “should” or “must” be a certain way. When you look at your life without that judgment, it is easier to go with the flow. Work to release yourself from the happiness that comes from external things like clothing, cars, or food. You don’t have to sell everything you own and become a monk or a nun to practice non-attachment; you just need to embrace the importance of letting go.

Photo courtesy of Mindsight, mindsightnow.com (13)

13. Take a Break from Tech

Technology—whether in the form of an internet search or a social media app—can sometimes be the first step in making a connection, but when we put down our phones or step away from our computers, we can recoup from the constant ping of emails or negative news. “There’s nothing that can replace in-person communication,” the Joy Squad’s Collier says. Sizemore adds that technology can be useful in helping you organize your goals and plan your day, but it can just as easily derail. “If technology is the boss of you, it’s a negative,” she says. “If technology is a support instead of a derailment, it can be a positive intentional choice.” If you struggle with self-control when it comes to scrolling, use a lockbox like this one from Mindsight that allows users to lock their phones away for as little as a minute or as long as 30 days.

14. Get Outside

The Japanese practice of shinrin-yoku, or forest bathing, is the simple act of getting into nature, observing it, and breathing deeply. According to health care company Kaiser Permanente, studies have shown that spending 10 to 20 minutes a day outside doing something like gardening, listening to the sound of waves at the beach, or walking in a park can lower blood pressure, heart rate, and levels of stress hormones.

15. Replace Triggers with Glimmers

Be aware of your triggers (things that make you feel sad or anxious)—like certain social media feeds, that friend who always seems to go on better trips, or a relative who puts you down—and avoid them. Replace those with glimmers (things that spark joy) like walking with a friend who makes you laugh, feeling the sun on your shoulders, or curling up with a new book. 

16. Check Your Body Language

The expressions we wear are the first form of social feedback we give to those we encounter, and they set the tone for our interactions with others. “If you go to an event and you don’t look at anyone and act protectively of yourself, you’re unlikely to share any part of the experience,” Wolf says. “When we smile at other people, they’re likely to smile back at us, and that feedback can actually make you feel happier.”

17. Put Your Purpose Into Practice

A National Institutes of Health-funded study showed that those who expressed having clear goals or a purpose lived up to seven years longer than those who did not. To find your sense of purpose, make a list of your mental, emotional, and physical talents. Then reflect on what you like to do and where you can use those skills. Maybe it’s tutoring students in math or volunteering at the Humane Society. Find places where you can contribute and make a difference.

18. Don’t Delay

Fight the urge to wait to seek happiness (think: “I’ll be happier when I lose 10 pounds”). Happiness comes from appreciating what you have in the present moment. Making your happiness conditional on something you don’t have and may not get is counterproductive. Redirect your thinking by noting the good things in your life right now. 

19. Be Realistic

Recognize that you won’t always be happy in every moment—and that’s normal. Whether you’ve received bad news, are running late, or somebody hurt your feelings, take a moment to acknowledge that the frustration, fear, or anger you feel is not permanent. Allow yourself to experience it, and then shift your focus toward what made you feel this way and what it might take to recover. Then let the moment pass, and take care of yourself. But remember: if you are struggling to reframe your thoughts, it’s important to seek someone to talk to. 

20. Keep It Up

Like anything else, happiness is a habit, and research tells us that it takes time and dedication to build any habit you want to see through long-term. Consider the 21/90 Rule, which is based on studies that show that it takes 21 days to make a habit and 90 days to turn that habit into a permanent lifestyle change. Commit to making happiness your goal for 21 days, or start small and adopt any one of these suggested practices. Push past that initial 21-day period to 90 days, and active happiness will become a part of your lifestyle.